blood

what i see is not the tangible. it is the feeling of seeing.

what i feel is not the seeable. it is the pulsing of my heart. the living cells in my blood. the thickness. of my texture. the oxygen that runs through my veins.

what i live is not a life. it is the sense of aliveness that lives inside me – my soul. it is the meaning that is written in the redness of my blood.

my blood carries the history of my ancestors – the death and the life. my blood is the root of my existence and the wisdom of my soul.

my blood is red. thick. dark. it is the life force that runs through my existence.

the awareness of the pulsing force of my blood teaches me that i am here to observe. to learn. to feel things. to feel into and then try to understand. to know when to pause. when to go. when to stop completely. knowing those subtle yet strong signs piercing through my heart, pulsing from my centre and soul straight to yours. The connection.

Empathy. It is all about that. The dying. The acceptance of death. inside. every day. so that the reborn manifests.

the creation of that very space of freedom. that power that makes us immortal. as souls.

the acceptance of nothingness and letting everything flourish into space. inside and outside of us.

knowing that we know nothing. and being able to learn the new every day. learning to be wrong every day. the abondment of the self. the dying inside every day. to be reborn again. in order to live again. a life where nothing remains but love. and nothing exists but silence. in your breath. the place where love manifests and lives eternally. the space where the feeling of love for you is. that love that we share. my prayer before i go to sleep. that love that lives no matter what. whatever that “no matter what” means.

I am the work I love

 

i am the work i love. the constant digging. the contnuous shifting. the ongoing awakening.

i wake up every morning and i witness the change. of flames. in shape, colour and smell. different fromt he night before.

the dreams. they transformed my soul again.

during the day. those perceptions of multiple realities. my ees don’t see. my soul does.

the people. my eyes see bodies. my heart feels stories. my soul senses eternal souls. that pain of fragmentation. mirrors. shadows.

i see. i feel. i know. so, i love.

then they melt. they feel life. they entre a sacred space. they see the light. of their souls.

now the wonder. who am i? i am a story told by the ocean. i am a vibration emanated by by its waves. i am life rooted in the soil. and expanded throughout the skies.

i am everything that you are and nothing that you are not. i am you. love. if i stop my work my soul disappears and only my body remains.

i want to live so i continue my work. because that’s nurturing my soul. without this brutal and intense work there is no soul. no me. that’s why i am the work i love.

Jungle

I feel that I am at a point in my life where the feeling of connecting to nature and reality is so strong, that everything that fills up my days here in the West, just seems so awkward and fake to me. This man-built society is false. It is a construction of the mind. And we are serving it emotionally and physically. The planet is suffering because man dismantled reality. Nature is suffering because it cannot express herself freely anymore as it is being controlled by a powerful and rational system.

My journey has been intense. Deep. Sacred. I loved everything about my spiritual path…and I am still loving everything.

I decided to write a post about my strong desire to go to the jungle and live with medicine people! Yes, MEDICINE PEOPLE!!! They live in the jungle, where there is nothing but nature, where NOTHING ELSE BUT NATURE RULES LIFE! Here, we have got doctors who are insane and disturbed beings who are far away from being human, and far way from BEING! They are suffering. My question is: How can people who are in a state of pain heal?

But, that is not even the point of this post whose title is Jungle.

The point is that those jungle people who we call medicine people are simple human beings who are living humanly their state of being. The are connected – like newborns. They live in synch with the universe!!! 

Hence, the point is that I feel like there is no more point to live here anymore. It all seems so distant and contorted to me. It does not feel home to me. I feel like I am a stranger here. The way I am raising my kids all leads back to the roots of the Jungle. And I am really finding it so hard to just breathe here.

If I was to take my family and walk away JUST LIKE THAT, without anything, leaving everything tangible and material behind…I mean, if I am ready to do this…then the next question would be: Am I also ready to step into the wild and live according to nature??? Yes, I am!

I am ready for the jungle! I am ready for LIFE AS IT IS. I am ready to live as if I was only born the moment I step into the wild…I want to learn everything again.

This is how I feel today!

No need to homeschool. No need for so much efford to keep the continuum concept alive. No need to unlearn. Why so much hassle, when there is an easy way to just BE IT?

In the jungle!

I would love to connect to people, like Sarah Begum, to find out more about their experiences in the jungle. Internet is such a powerful tool to use to find information about other worlds.

So, YOU, yes YOu out there..please get in touch!

I am ready!

The Soul of a Butterfly

In this book Hana Yasmeen Ali tells us everything about her father’s heart and spiritual path outside the ring. There is not one word I would not quote. I have got three spiritual fathers. Muhammad Ali is one of them. Everything I have achieved today, I owe it to this MAN. Here are only a few quotes from his daughter Hana. I do not feel any difference between her soul and mine except that it got split and entered two different bodies. She is speaking out my heart and soul…

Some quotes:

When I look at the world, I see that many people build big beautiful houses but live in broken homes. We spend more time learning how to make a living than we do learning how to make a life.

Religion and spirituality are very different, but people often confuse the two. Some things cannot be taught, but they can be awakened in the heart. Spirituality is recognising the divine light that us within us all. It does not belong to any particular religion; it belongs to everyone.

Truly great people in history never wanted to be great for themselves. All they wanted was the chance to do good for others and be close to God.
Though some people may see themselves as better or more important than others, in god’s eyes we are all equal, and it’s what is in our hearts that matters.

…what was important was how I behaved, because I have to answer to God. I can’t be responsible for other people’s actions…it seems that the more I gave in the name of God, the more he has given back to me. I try not to speak about the charities and people I help, because I believe we can only be truly generous when we expect nothing in return.

At night, when I go to bed, I ask myself, “if I do not wake up tomorrow, would I be proud of how I lived today.”

We all have the same God, we just serve him differently. Rivets, lakes, ponds, streams, oceans, all have different names, but they all contain water. So do religions have different names and they all contain truth, expressed in different ways, forms, and times. It does not matter if you are a Muslim, a Christian, or a Jew. When you believe in God, you should believe that all people are part of one family.

I believe that God beautified the planet by spreading everyone out and making us different. The goal of our nations should be to work on understanding, respecting our differences and celebrating our similarities.

When I read or hear something that I think is valuable, something that speaks to me of the world as I feel it, I focus on those parts…when something seems true to me, it becomes part of me. That is how I learn. I felt god was always working through me. He filled me with wisdom, confidence, self-assurance, and awareness. I studied life and I studied people.

“Where is man’s wealth? His wealth is in his knowledge. If his wealth is in his bank, he does not possess it.” My wealth is in my knowledge of self, love, and spirituality.

As long as I am alive, I will continue to try to understand more because the work of the heart is never done. All through my life I have been tested. My will has been tested, my courage has been tested, my strength has been tested.

I have learnt to live my life one step, one breath, and moment at a time, but it was a long road. I set out on a journey of love, seeking truth, peace, and understanding. I am still learning.

Fresh from the soil

This is in Xireni, Sicily. In the Madonie. It is a family who offers a b&b and a lot more as you can see in the video. Sicily is a sacred land. It is rich, fertile and magical. It is where I originate and where my soul is connected too. I created a blog called unadonnasiciliana.wordpress.com where you can find more information about this sacred space.

the power of homeschooling

A homeschooled human being who expresses the power of learning through unschooling! The topic ‘homeschooling’ is still tabu in most modern and civilized societies where it is thought that learning occurs at school. Before we express our inclinations versus or against homeschooling, we need to ask the questions ‘what is learning?’ and ‘how does it happen?’ One of the reasons why my husband and I decided to homeschool our kids is because we believe that kids need to FEEL FREE. Schools do not offer freedom. Hence, we need to ask ourselves whether what they call ‘learning’ connotes learning or whether it puts kids into a box according to which their minds get shaped and their creativity annulled. This video puts it into simple words and I thought I would share it as it gives the whole picture of what homeschooling actualy is: learning to learn and a constant search for the truth, or in other words learning from the soul, expanding meaning and connecting to your inner knowledge and spirit.Kids who are homeschooled become creators of meaning. They change the world. Their learning space is not the classroo. It is the whole world with its energy, trees,greens, mountains, animals, seas, oceans, lakes, rivers, flowers, colours,…

freedom of the soul

I have heart many times speaking about the definition of a real man or a real woman. A real woman is not she who submits her will to someone else’s opinion. A real woman is she who carries her truth kindly. She is a mother who cares, a woman who carries another life inside her. She is the roots and she has the strength of a tree. A real man is he who honours, admires, respects and loves all women, hence all human creation. His behaviour is a kind one. And he speaks words of wisdom, compassion, peace and love. A real man is the perfect balance of yin and yang…a totally integrated soul who cares and carries his truth kindly too. There is no seperation between a man and a woman. They are connected and they love each other no matter what the relationship is…a sister, a friend, a girlfriend, an auntie…etc. they are in complete union…when they are real, when they let themselves be spirit. Only then…they are dancing.

It is easy to just give a definition like that. What is not easy is, to understand what makes a man real and a woman real. Both a real woman and a real man were led by extraordinary examples during their childhood, namely parents who had either already gotten rid of their heavy baggage which was transmitted to them by their own parents, or they are those extraordinary souls who were born with a high level of awareness, and therefore capable of decoding and breaking away from any sort of conditioning – they were born critical thinkers. They know their values and why they are here, and they are courageous souls: they dream big and live like there is no tomorrow, simply because they know! They trust their heart and instinct or inner voice and they are able to preserve and aliment their positive, creative and inspirational vibrations within their energy field. They are the earthkeepers as they Shamans call them – namely those who came from the divine to spread the message of love. They intend to protect their souls because they know that it is there were the trees grow, the flowers blossom, the rivers flow, the sea nourishes the life it hosts and the earth dances with the sun and the moon. They know that their soul is the universe – and ought to be protected, nourished and loved.

It is very difficult for a person to carry realness when affected by fear rooted in their LEF (luminous energy field) which, as claimed before, originated by parents who struggled themselves with their external environment, and who therefore automatically transmitted those codes to their children. That is the reason why they cannot be authentic and real, because they lack the courage to be who they really are. Most people are attached to an idea of who they are which is only the reflection of what others believe about them. They do not know that they are not those beliefs. They are trapped in that viscious circle and live a life full of roles through which they satisfy others – not the essence of their soul which is burried so deeply that their consciousness is unable to raise and see the beauty inside.

I decided to write a few lines about this topic to rise awareness and sensibility about these realities. You may be a person who is struggling inside, or maybe you are going through a tough time with your kids. You are in that situation where you are confused and find it difficult to make a decision. You are unable to see clearly, and due to your vulnerability, you easily let a part of yourself die by submitting your will to someone else’s opinion. A person who always acts out fear and never does what she really feels – sometimes because your vision is obscured and you are unable to see what you really want. Hence, you believe that what you are doing is coherent to your values. Sometimes because you feel more comfortable doing what others do.

Life is a path where each one of us is a warrior, and you can decide today wether you want to be a peaceful warrior or a warrior of peace! There is a huge difference between those two warriors. The former lives life courageously and faces his deep wounds with compassion, kindness and love. The latter lives with fear and intends to fight all the obstacles she encounters duirng this path with anger, frustration and cowardness. This does not mean that the peaceful warrior never gets angry or frustrated. It only means that the former is aware of his anger and intends to understand it in order to accept it and transform it into strength. The latter justifies his anger and is too scared to face it. She is too scared to understand its roots. The plain truth is that peace is there if you choose to see it. It is not there if you decide to avoid it. You are responsibile for your life because you have got the power of choice. I know that for some souls life may result as a harder torment as compared to other souls. What I also know is that we can do it. Each one of us can start today and take her first step towards freedom. Freedom of the soul.

…cus “we are spiritual beings having a human experience” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

who is you

It is our own walk towards freedom which no one knows except you.

Not you but you – your consciousness.

So, make no assumptions about yourself. You don’t know you and you never will.

Your consciousness does. Connect to her and speak to God who lives in you.

And you will know who is you.

 

Poetic Lyric

asthanga – vinyasana yoga: detox body, mind and spirit from the inside out

I am an active ashtanga – vinyasana yoga practisioner. Yoga is another gift which has been given to me by God. Yoga is part of my life. It is part of my day – like sleeping, eating and brushing my teeth. Of course, there are days when I do not practise. On those days my body tells me: stop stretching me. And yoga teaches me to listen to my body. Yoga teaches me many things which are all inside of me and which I myself need to discover through my practice. My practice is different every day. Sometimes I am more flexible. Sometimes I am more balanced. Sometimes I can’t be bothered and I totally lose focus and start gazing around instead of listening to my breath. And here is the most significant aspect of yoga: THE BREATH! It is not about the poses. it is not about how flexible you are. It is not about how strong you are. It is only about how good you are at focusing on the breath. When you focus on the breath, everything else follows: movements and focus. That is when you are balanced and flexible. Even though, the level of flexibility in certain areas does not really depend on your focus or type of body. It depends on your emotions: fear, trust, self-esteem etc. I myself am less flexible in my hips and I know it is connected to trust issues. i need to let go and surrender. It comes from the inside out. Once I acknowledge the matter, I need to loosen up and let go of my fear…that is when my hips will automatically open up. Everything is so connected.

The breath is our focus, as stated before. It sounds easy, but it is an art. Simply because we are made of body, mind and spirit and yoga is not only a body practice, or a mind practice, or a spirit practice. NO! It is a body, mind, spirit practice. It is a holistic practice. You tone your muscles, you strengthen your body, you become more flexible, you cleanse your body and you clear your mind FROM THE INSIDE OUT – through the breath. Not through a pole which you are lifting yourself up to “get strong muscles” at the gym, not from sit-ups or push-ups which ONLY strengthen your muscles. Nothing of all that. It all starts from the breath which is inside of you. The breath is your tool. Your pole. It is pretty amazing what you can do with your breath. In ashtanga yoga we use a special way of breathing which consists of contracting the throat muscles and therefore breathing through the nose from the back of your throat (ujjai breath). The louder the breath, the more you can focus on it. And the more you are able to still your mind. The slower and longer both inhalation and exhalation, the deeper you get into the pose. It is almost like a trance. You totally disappear from the world and you enter your soul. Your inside. The only existing world for us human beings. The world where all our secrets lie. The world which we tend to escape daily by keeping us busy with work, people, material things. When you enter your soul, you become mindful, conscious, aware and connected to your heart. When Bruce Lee says: “Empty your mind”, he does not literally mean to stop thinking. He means to become mindful and by becoming mindful, we become aware. By becoming aware, we start watching our thoughts and just be observers. So, meditation does not mean to stop thinking. We cannot stop thinking. It is a natural way of our being. It is part of us. Mediation teaches us to watch our thoughts and to stop judging them. So, when people say: “I cannot meditate because everytime I close my eyes, I start thinking about all the stuff. So, I can’t meditate”, it does not mean that they are not able to meditate. Everyone is able to meditate as long as you are able to breathe.  And once you start meditating, you improve day by day until you get to the point where you become one with your breath. That is when you are able to still the mind, to silence the mind – to stop judging yourself and to just let go and observe what the hell is going on in there. And ashtanga yoga is a moving meditation. Every move is an inhalation or exhalation. Every inhalation has the same length as the inhalation. Every movement is significant. It connects you to the earth, to the sun and to yourself. Every drishti (the direction of your gaze in every pose) is significant and determinant for your focus during your practice. Ashtanga – vinyasana yoga: body (movement), mind (breath) and spirit (drishti). Throughout the whole practice you maintain the flow of your breath and you put the bandhas on (please look it up online as i don’t want to get to technical here).

I find it pretty amazing that through the art of breathing you move your body and you get flexible, strong, focused and cleansed.

Poetic-Lyric

What about us?

“Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity” said once a Pakistani friend of mine, a woman who has lived in a country where peace is not something you find when you wake up, but something you need to search for deep in your heart and survival is far away from being a daily state of certainty. In countries like Pakistan life is a gift you appreciate with every breath you take. Life is a gift. Period. It does not matter which country you are from. It is a gift I appreciate every day of my life and I live in a peaceful country such as New Zealand, thanks God, where terrorism is almost considered unreal. Today I feel that the entire world is affected by a disease I call “heartlessness”. Everywhere people are dressed in uniforms of brutality (Bob Marley, Burnin’ and Lootin’). There is violence everywhere, because there is no peace in our hearts. There is no peace in our minds. There is no peace in our souls. Humanity is suffering. The earth is suffering – the trees, the birds, the ocean, the sky…Everything is crying. Everybody is dying. Are we blind? Are we depth? Are we senseless?

Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we’ve shed before
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores?
Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores
I used to dream
I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don’t know where we are
Although I know we’ve drifted far

Hey, what about yesterday? What about us?
What about the seas? What about us?
The heavens are falling down? What about us?
I can’t even breathe? What about us?
What about apathy? What about us?
I need you? What about us?
What about nature’s worth
It’s our planet’s womb? What about us?
What about animals? What about it?
We’ve turned kingdoms to dust? What about us?
What about elephants? What about us?
Have we lost their trust? What about us?
What about crying whales? What about us?
We’re ravaging the seas? What about us?
What about forest trails?
Burnt despite our pleas? What about us?
What about the holy land? What about it?
Torn apart by creed? What about us?
What about the common man? What about us?
Can’t we set him free? What about us?
What about children dying? What about us?
Can’t you hear them cry? What about us?
Where did we go wrong
Someone tell me why? What about us?
What about babies?? What about it?
What about the days? What about us?
What about all their joy? What about us?
What about the man? What about us?
What about the crying man? What about us?
What about Abraham? What about us?
What about death again
Do we give a damn
Michael Jackson, Earth song

 

Bombing for peace is a farce!

Anyone who claims to bomb innocent civilians “for peace” is a terrorist, despite nationality, ethnicity and religion. This applies to Israelis who bomb innocent Palestinians, to Palestinians who are not bombing because they are Muslims, but because they are angry and desperate. A daughter who has seen her own mother losing her dignity and dying at checkpoints while giving birth will naturally blow herself up and consequently kill people. It is not a justifiable act, but it is understandable that you can simply lose your mind in that situation. And yes America, it applies to you as well. Don’t think that you get cleaned out of this dirty game you are a huge part of. You can’t combat terrorism while being a terrorist yourself. Or are your bombs which killed millions of people in Baghdad and Afghanistan “in the name of democracy and peace” justified? You claim you are defending your people. How can there be a defence without there being an attack? And we all know that 9/11 was a well planned “own goal” which on purpose spread dirt on Islam – a religion of peace, love and mercy. I am not defending Islam here. I am just telling some facts. Any religion is based on peace and love. No holy book speaks of killing people. So, to you too, dear people who claim to be Muslims. Being a Muslim is not just a name you can spit on. It is a way of life. You are just humans – imperfect while Islam is perfect. Carrying the name of Islam while hating is unislamic, “unspiritual” and inhuman. Islam means peace. To all those who bomb in the name of Allah – our creator – I’d like to say: I am sorry dude, but people who have a minimum of common sense and intelligence won’t swallow your pill. How can you be religious and at the same time bomb and kill people? And destroy creation? The name you carry is not honourd by you. You can’t be a Muslim and carry hate in your heart. I pray for all those families who lost their relatives in Boston last week. I pray for all those who are heavily injured and whose lives can never be the same like before. May you still find peace and love in challenging times and may you be rewarded for those feelings. I pray for those who kill in the name of peace. May you find the way to get to the deepest part of your soul and feel love for yourself first and then for your brothers and sisters on earth. Only then will there be peace on earth. I pray for all those families who lose their children in war or natural disasters every day. Those people whose pain is not mentioned in the media because “it is useless news while filling the newspaper with Boston news and blaming it on Islamic terrorists can change the people’s consciousness and can give us Americans the reason to continue the war against terrorism in Afghanistan”. Again I’d like to quote Bob Marley: “Until the philosophy that holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently abandoned and discredited there is war.”

Salaam,

Poetic Lyric