what i see is not the tangible. it is the feeling of seeing.
what i feel is not the seeable. it is the pulsing of my heart. the living cells in my blood. the thickness. of my texture. the oxygen that runs through my veins.
what i live is not a life. it is the sense of aliveness that lives inside me – my soul. it is the meaning that is written in the redness of my blood.
my blood carries the history of my ancestors – the death and the life. my blood is the root of my existence and the wisdom of my soul.
my blood is red. thick. dark. it is the life force that runs through my existence.
the awareness of the pulsing force of my blood teaches me that i am here to observe. to learn. to feel things. to feel into and then try to understand. to know when to pause. when to go. when to stop completely. knowing those subtle yet strong signs piercing through my heart, pulsing from my centre and soul straight to yours. The connection.
Empathy. It is all about that. The dying. The acceptance of death. inside. every day. so that the reborn manifests.
the creation of that very space of freedom. that power that makes us immortal. as souls.
the acceptance of nothingness and letting everything flourish into space. inside and outside of us.
knowing that we know nothing. and being able to learn the new every day. learning to be wrong every day. the abondment of the self. the dying inside every day. to be reborn again. in order to live again. a life where nothing remains but love. and nothing exists but silence. in your breath. the place where love manifests and lives eternally. the space where the feeling of love for you is. that love that we share. my prayer before i go to sleep. that love that lives no matter what. whatever that “no matter what” means.
i am the work i love. the constant digging. the contnuous shifting. the ongoing awakening.
i wake up every morning and i witness the change. of flames. in shape, colour and smell. different fromt he night before.
the dreams. they transformed my soul again.
during the day. those perceptions of multiple realities. my ees don’t see. my soul does.
the people. my eyes see bodies. my heart feels stories. my soul senses eternal souls. that pain of fragmentation. mirrors. shadows.
i see. i feel. i know. so, i love.
then they melt. they feel life. they entre a sacred space. they see the light. of their souls.
now the wonder. who am i? i am a story told by the ocean. i am a vibration emanated by by its waves. i am life rooted in the soil. and expanded throughout the skies.
i am everything that you are and nothing that you are not. i am you. love. if i stop my work my soul disappears and only my body remains.
i want to live so i continue my work. because that’s nurturing my soul. without this brutal and intense work there is no soul. no me. that’s why i am the work i love.
I wrote these lyrics during a special moment of my life. It was a really challenging period. Karma. Karma. Karma. It was time to learn a huge lesson. I had two choices: stay and learn or escape. I decided to stay and the lesson was tough. Today I realise that that life lesson was fundamental. I had to go through it. Without it, I would not be the strong rose I am today. At times, we think that God is putting us in a difficult situation. In reality, God’s intention is to learn another piece of ourselves through that experience. It is not a kick in our ass. It is a gift from God and we need to have faith and be strong and carry on our path with love and peace. God puts us in challenging but achievable situations. God never wants to put us down.
During that day I was about to write a river of words. I went crazy. I just wanted to express my pain and frustration. I started writing writing writing and I realized that my words were all over the place…in the end I decided to express it in a poem. These lyrics liberated me from my pain and made me strong like a rose.
I have the strength of a rose
to make you hear my voice
to make you feel my heart
to make you stroke my soul
to see through the wind.
I have the strength of a rose
to calm you down
to find peace inside of me.
When I walk I feel pain.
Then I tune in and I see peace.
When I move I feel fear.
Then I look inside and I see colours.
When I observe reality I hear noise.
Then I step inside my soul and I feel like dancing to the music.
I am just a girl
who likes chocolate and who smiles at you
I am a girl with a frozen heart.
A girl who has the strength of a rose to make the ice inside melt
through the power and warmth of her soul.